i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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