Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
