.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
