i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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