just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
