4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
