I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
