Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize