I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
sex in a hospital.. check
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
