Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
