No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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