If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
