For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
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Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
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Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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