go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
