Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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