I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
