So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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