You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
