He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Bring me that man meat
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
