Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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