And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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