My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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