He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
