lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I want to fling myself into the sun
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
