Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
