I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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