hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
