You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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