Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
