Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
