Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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