I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
