Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he was CRYING into my vagina
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
