He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
