does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
