ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
this will be a night to untag.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
All the doctor said was why
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
