My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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