I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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