; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
