im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
