I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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