haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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