My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Randomize