Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
