i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize