I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
