i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
