I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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