So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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