I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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