I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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