I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
