I love black thongs
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Randomize
