I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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