Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize