for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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