I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My dick has a subreddit
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
