Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
