sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
