Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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