the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
