So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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